Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy