gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Can Purell be used as lube?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake