Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
