the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
