I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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