ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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