The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
