i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
