so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
