Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
