I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize