I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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