I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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