There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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