You smell like stripper and shame
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Bring me that man meat
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
