I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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