I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The power of my boobs compel you
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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