i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize