mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
