yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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