Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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