wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize