i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
