Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
