I love black thongs
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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