So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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