I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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