fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We were destined to go to rehab together
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
