3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he wants to bone in the snuggie
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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