Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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