I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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