Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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