Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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