i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
