I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
