i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
