she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
