Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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