just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize