Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
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Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
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Found the puke drawer
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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