the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Randomize
