But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
