What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
