At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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