How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
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did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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