She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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