i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
