We won't sleep together?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
do herpes really smell.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
