John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i drank out of a bidet.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
