Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I checked into jail on foursquare
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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