I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
