I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Found your dick twin last night
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
