so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
