my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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