so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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