So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
