After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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