WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
wow bdsm is so cute
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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