is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
