dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
