my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
